Warm-Up Like a Superhero 
Don’t just jump in like you’re late for work! Stretch, do squats, maybe shadow-box the air. Let her watch and wonder, “Is he about to fight me or love me?”, the mystery keeps things spicy.
Channel Your Inner Nollywood Actor 
Every 30 seconds, stop, stare deeply into the distance, and whisper dramatically: “This… is bigger than us.” This buys you time and confuses the enemy, sorry, partner.
Distract Yourself With Odd Thoughts 
Think about your unpaid electricity bill, the plot of Game of Thrones, or that one time you waved at someone who wasn’t waving at you. Nothing kills quick endings like mild emotional pain.
Master the “Commercial Break” Technique 
Pretend you’re sponsored: “And now… a word from our sponsors.” Then pause, drink water, or eat puff-puff before resuming. She’ll laugh, and you’ll buy extra minutes.
Adopt the Sloth Technique 
Slow everything down… like you’re moving through thick Nigerian traffic. No rush. Take it easy. If she complains, tell her you’re “building tension for the season finale.”
Emergency Exit Strategy 
If you feel the “volcano” coming too soon, fake a sneeze attack or suddenly declare, “I think I left the gas on!” Run to the kitchen, reset, then return like a conquering hero.
See also: How to Cheat Without Getting Caught (for men only)
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